Mother's on a Ride!

Teething problems...



When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see...

But I am not a little girl any more, I am a woman, a mother and like many first time mothers I know, I too am a freaked out one until my child grows. I wish life could have been so simple like the song, just leave to god and rest will be taken care of. (But then who said, God helps those who helps themselves)

Anyways, this one is on woes of a mother while she's practicing being a good mother. Right from birth to feeding, to weaning off, to introducing semi then solid food, to making her child walk, talk and then sprint... a mother's heart skips a beat every time a child accomplishes a development milestone. Each activity and newly acquired skill is an achievement, an occasion to be celebrated all the time thereon.
Then a very important milestone - enrolling the child for the very first time to a playschool. This, definitely is an event for many I know, and what emotions parents experience is not new to me. After a lot of research, ground work, checking references, browsing N number of websites, paying N number of visits to N number of schools, revisiting the same set of those few selected ones out of a lot of may be 3 dozens, finally parents arrive at a conclusion (unanimous) of sending their ward to one of the most prestigious, reputed, tested and boasts of laying a strong foundation, having best approach, right practices and decade old experience in bringing up children in the most conducive of environments.

Ed..sells like hotcakes

With the intent of admitting my child to such a prestigious and more than hugely advertised institute, I revisited the school in their very busy hours. I had visited the school almost a month back along with my husband for the first time to enquire about admissions. I was asked to fill up a pre - registration form and had been asked even exhaustive details (imagine - this is only during the time of an enquiry) like designations of both parents (working) along with monthly income. I did not strike me then...I had almost forgotten about it amidst series of things happening at my personal front, a cousin's marriage then a demise of a close relative, then....excetra excetra...but they did not... a very polite and humble business development executive had promised herself to convert the lead (us). Being in BD myself, her rigorous follow up calls (at times they were really pestering, sounding more than urgent..almost alarming) did not offend me, I had kept my calm and cool...but only till then...


Young saplings


My interest was primarily due to the fact that I was informed that the teacher: student ratio is 1: 15 (up to 20) and lot of emphasis is given on customizing methodology of imparting learning to the tiny toddlers. I was escorted for a school round by a Business development in charge of their Vivek Vihar branch with lot of style and warmth. The lady helped us see around the school's impressive infrastructure - huge auditorium for kids to practice public speaking, a well equipped computer room, a doll house, an activity room to help kids learn colors, textures, role plays to know about petrol stations, grocery store, a skating ring, an apt indoor swimming pool (empty though) etc. Then...came the classes, the wooden doors of the classrooms had glass panes to peep in and I saw many many children seated in a semi circle few ft away from a centrally positioned teacher calling attendance. I could not stop myself counting the faces ( I could see) and the heads from that small window...25..26..30..31...were there more? I will never know now...and believe me I don't want to.

In my previous visit I had almost made up my mind to admit my son in the school and was waiting for my hubby and myself to get time to do so, but this was not I was expecting. Till now, they had not asked to see my child, they had not shown any interest to even know whether I actually had any ward or whether it was framed by a set of duo journalists very fond of string operations. But the most disappointing one was yet to come. Last time we came, we were told that admission fee was somewhere around Rs. 11.3 K (initially it was Rs. 16.2 K but as a discount for registering the same day it was brought to around Rs. 14.k, and further to quickly seal the deal the last offer made to impulsively admit the child was Rs. 11.3K) and if we would have made payments the same day we would have saved some money. Of course, people do not carry pockets loaded with so much of cash, but like professionals, they too had offered for sending an executive at home to collect cheque / cash from our residence, who would also be carrying the admission form (when asked about the process).Now we had to pay close to Rs. 14 .5K.

I sat there still trying to convince myself whether I wanted this for my child, he has a delayed speech, gets easily distracted and will he be able to cope (not in a group but) in a crowd, while I heard my husband struggling to reach a consent with the BD in charge to settle at the fee quoted, she offered to make it convenient for us - to pay a token fee and pay the rest later, but it could not now be lowered. He haggled, we both are from corporates. should we not be entitled to any corporate discount, she asked her BD executive to fetch her the corporates listed with them...'sorry, your company is not listed with us, we can set up help desks in your organisation and if we get some 1000 admissions from your organisation, you and your colleagues who may seek admissions for their toddlers in any of our branches may be eligible for corporate discounts, but I may not be able to offer them to you today'. "Sure, I can help you by putting you to our HR, our HO in gurgaon does not have 1000 staff members, but yes including our factory workers, the number should come close to 1000", I heard my naive husband talk. Pat came the reply, this is only meant for people who can afford to send their kids to our schools, then only setting up of help desks is meaningful.

Here, I was still thinking...why not, if it has been working for so many kids, it should very well work out for MY son too...after all the setting looks almost perfect and we have no qualms about fee being slightly more expensive than in schools we had earlier visited.

I heard him say, in that case Ma'm let me come back to you, I am not carrying a cheque book, you may pay a token money of Rs. 2.5 K or so now and the rest within few days...we need to book a seat for your son's admission, hence we need to confirm.
Something had rushed into my system...up to my brain...I saw myself stood up suddenly and announcing " I need time to think". I politely told the charming BD executive, we will come back to you."

My husband was startled, while he was fumbling with his wallet keeping back the bundle of Rs. 500 notes he had taken few seconds earlier. His quizzical eyes trying to enquire “what’s wrong with you, you had been eating my brains in the last few days of hurrying before admissions close..." But I guess I did not give time to anyone in that room, including myself to event think, forget to act, I had already reached the door of the room by then to exit. I just looked at the BD in charge who had earlier been lecturing on the topic that how she can relate to a mother's worry and apprehension of sending a kid to a school for the first time, the anxiety in both parents and kids when he is stepping out to the world with faces he has never seen, people he has never met before...I could only say " Thank you Ma'm for your time!"

I had felt her stern eyes on me, it had certainly been disrespectful without a doubt, but somewhere I had to listen to that quite inner voice...

Needless to say, I did not enroll my son in a very prestigious school, he today goes to a small neighborhood school that provides more or less the same infrastructure (hopefully, the same learning too) a green environment, few lesser friends and few lesser glossy glam toys, but its more than satisfying to hear me say to myself " They had not entertained me in the school without my son when I had gone for enquiring about admissions, they had not pestered me to pay up at gunpoint, they did not come across as those who may have discussed my son's registration form in their branch's business review meetings...it did not look (at least) that my son was just a target for number crunching.

A Rs. 4999 computer...unbelievable!

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Isn’t this an absolutely cool idea!
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United Coffee House...not so uniting experience!

From UCH to Uhhh…

Alrite...this happens to be my first piece in my blog regarding a review of a restaurant, and I must admit (at the very start of this article) that it doesn't really seem to be the bestest of restaurants to start my restaurant - review writings with…
…nonetheless it seems important to share some information with the frequent visitors to Connaught place (CP), a renowned Lutyen property now a commercial business centre, in short shopping haven for Delhites, the Victorian architecture modeled after the Royal Crescent in Bath, England

In the middle circle of CP there is a queue of fine dine and wine restaurants, a Gourmet’s paradise as they say and this is where in E block nestled a heritage restaurant, United Coffee House.

It was not my first time I visited United Coffee House (UCH) but this time the memories lasted more than before, as bad memories stick better than good ones, as proven by research and studies (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20603272/). I was with M, my CEO, a veteran in Public relations and a holder of immense knowledge on almost any subject matter available around. I remember the last time I was in the same place with him and my other two colleagues; I hated the idea of having our evening snacks and drinks at this place as suggested by one of them. I had remembered when I was a fledgling in the corporate world attending to my first job in CP and accidentally had barged in from the door of UCH only to find my face covered with thick clouds of smoke, as soon as I had taken a glimpse of the seemingly drunk looking, pot bellied front table occupants, I had put off the idea of having my meal there.

Incidentally, I was here again, more or less for the same reason I was here the last time, this was the closest restaurant in the vicinity to a prospective client’s office we had been almost regularly visiting to in the last few weeks, plus who has all the time and energies to think of another option, so here we were at UCH…

As soon as we entered I was pleased to see the gentry this time, or at this hour of the day, people sitting across had casual looks, a foreigner reading her book, though a noisy place, the instrumental music they play at the backdrop seemed to have never changed since Bryan Adams days…

The classic motifs, an intriguing art form and the enormous chandelier near the bar are very typical of UCH, they again have never seemed to have changed to probably maintain or to retain the classic look of the era it belongs to…the room below kind of gives a bit of dark gloomy look…all the chairs at the ground level were occupied (oh… is this related to complacency of the staff), I was relieved, we had to talk, probably it would be quieter at the upper level, we were asked to take the narrow staircase that followed to a small room filled with more than few pairs of random tables and chairs

Apparently, M had not had anything since morning, and it was past 4 in the evening already, he had been too busy preparing for the business pitch, too earnest to have thought of having breakfast or lunch before he was sure he had delivered his hard work well in form of the presentation.

A disgruntled man (as he had a sad sullen sulking look on his face) came to us to help place our orders, he seemed in a bit of a hurry. We asked him what all was available as lunch menu, as we knew it wasn’t exactly the lunch hour. ‘Everything is available’ he snapped. A usually calm, composed M and a bit hungry would have ignored only if he would have not repeated his folly. As we ordered for a Masala Dosa for him, his simple choice as a South Indian and a steaming cup of south Indian coffee for me…(isn’t the place supposed to be living for its name…), the same UCH staff member waited to indicate – ‘is that all?’ We politely confirmed that was all. M asked how long it will take for Dosa preparations, he was told 15 – 20 minutes. After little difficulty we accepted this. Had we been to a place like Savarnah Bhawan, Sagar Ratna or even any other multi-cuisine restaurant, I wondered if they too would have taken this long. We asked him if he could in the meantime serve some plain water (and not packaged/ distilled one) before he could bring us our order, he rushed only to kept us waiting for his return. He came back only with my coffee. There were few more unpleasant instances in the same visit like not being able to offer another fresh cup (assuming it would be used by the other person and not the one who ordered it) for tea, I could have waited more for plain water, had there been no intervention by their senior staff member, more wait than usual for the cheque, overall not a tasteful experience at UCH…

Ratings from AJS:
- Food and Presentation: *
- Ambience & Decor: **
- Customer Service: *
- Value for Money: **
- Cuisines: Chinese, Indian, Mughlai, Continental, South Indian
- Facilities: AC, Both Veg & Non-Veg, Credit Card accepted
- Timings: 9 am - 11.30 pm

The Hungry Tide

'Most fascinating, traditional and yet contemporary from one of the finest writers India ever produced'

- AJS -

Amitav Ghosh - the name may be known to at least a million now, readers or no readers of his latest or any other previous books. An author who may write many more wonderful, well researched, thought after storylines to become bestsellers across the world, in this book has brought out the jungle beauty of the Sunderbans along with weaving a very complicated yet delicate net amongst the characters in the story.

The setting is modern, situations and circumstances are current, practical and seemingly real. Describing the intricacy and mystery of the jungle, the author laid emphasis on the flora and fauna that may not always be green and romantic for either the local inhabitants or the first time visitors /outsiders on the island. The cast includes almost formidable characters like Fokir, Kanai, undeterred and yet vulnerable Piya, an achiever Maashima, deceased dismissed as an idealistic Nirmal etc...

The writer seemed to have spent some nice number of years in Sunderbans as he used the geographies and surface details to have described the seasons, inhabitants, dialects, costumes remarkably well. All these have been put to good use at the backdrop of a realistically set slightly inclined towards being a romantic story. (In this case then, it’s a romantic story with a sad end). A struggle between choosing mind or heart, an inexpressible connection between two odd human beings, one that has a scientific bent, a researcher, the other a stark contradiction, an illiterate, a villager to its core, a married unsung hero of the jungle (and presumably of this story), a father, a dismissed soul ‘Fokir’. But I would like to put this more as a book that describes the adventures hidden within the scenic Sunderbans, leaving behind some strong visual memories of the counters with Tigers, snakes, crocodiles, sea, rivers, storms and most unique the Irrawady Dolphins and the Orcaellas.

The traditional religious believes like those of worshipping Bon Bibi are staged with lining the mythological story to the current settings. The Goddess, believed to save the mankind from the demons and evils that prevail in the jungles and only one with a pure heart may live and come out unhurt if lost in the vastness, dark and hungry jungle.

The Hungry Tide as the name suggests may be a rendering of writer’s mind where tide may be coined to describe the tide of time, situation brought out by the relationships growing complicated amongst the characters, brought by the sudden storm and by the intertwined hearts, bodies and mind. The tide changes life thereafter forever, for almost all the ones in the story. Its hungry as it consumes them, consumes them of their rationale, their emotions, their energies, strength and capabilities of reasoning…leaving for nature to select, to eliminate - the ones with pure heart may only to remain. The outcome is as to what would remain after the stormy tide that washes away the fertile surface of the soil, ripping apart its past green grass, leaving it barren and fresh for a rebirth…

I think I will now consciously try to read all the past works of the author and look forward for many more. The writing definitely is impressionist, the characters, the setting stay back with the reader for many days after finish reading the book. There’s a Piya in me, trying to outgrow fears, overcome struggles and yet susceptible enough to fall prey to animal named ‘Man’ in this jungle.

Om Shanti Om Vs Saawariyan

It's never too late... I would have lived my life the way it is even without writing this blog, but thought this new age PR tool may help create some balance headed publicity for the movie mentioned latter in the title.

Something more was impressive with OSO and not with Saawariyan that may have attracted the crowd, or rather the herd...the promotions, advertising and the defensive mode of the spokespersons of Saawariyan. The timing of the release was just a sheer unfortuntate coincidence for Saawariyan, the things would have certainly been different otherwise.

But what perplexes me is the bollywood veterans managed to fool the audience with the pre-release hype and extravagant stardom deliberately been itemitized in the movie. The frivoulous and again deliberate comedy baring few sensibly placed spoofs on stars like Shabana Azmi, Manoj Kumar, Suraj Barjatya can be considered for appreciation. The most amazing of things is that the audience went hysterically wild on atti batti katti...who's your daddy...the SRK's attempt to look and sound funny...my south Indian friends did not like it though.

I can write many paragraphs and many more web pages that may be proof enough of my inclination towards Saawariyan... for reasons I shall tell you soon... but again this is an effort to play a balance pitch and not sideline the efforts of starcast / film makers and many more involved at either sides... The idea is to be able to agree or open a dialogue atleast on movie that is not meant for masses, is meant for a close group of audience - for those who love musical theatre and classic movies/authors, like the stage settings, liked characters rather than the cast playing them, like the settings of the story rather than the sets. The movie may not be positioned well, it is not the fault of the actors or the film maker but probably their publicity and promotion agencies. The movie was meant for those who wanted the theatrical representation on the larger screen, who had the love for emotions underlying the art of story telling and empathy towards the characters. Though the movie may have lacked some finer nuances or technical sharpness, but was not that bad that the masses rubbished it away...

May the Indian audience grow a little more mature and also try appreciate another league of art form, may they have enough choices and a larger heart to accept variety and uniqueness... may they go crazy for hockey rather than cricket...

till then... keep watching Bollywood

Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch (CYCBTH)

This started with two girls from the placement cell, coming to my office to pitch for their passing out batch from IIPM and after the discussions they left me with this book and said “Hope, you like it.” Now born as an Indian, the mentality is very basic, let me try - after all it’s for free, nothing is lost. So I went on…

The first page talks about media appreciation for Arindam’s ideas, workshops and seminars – think it should have been at the last page instead or limited to 2 -3 pages at the most. The very first few pages are loud enough to boast about the very first self authored book.

Then after these six pages, came the making of CYCBTH (including the overtly written paragraph on making of the cover page too), it appeared on the lines of the making of ‘Kabhie Alvida na Kehna’. (It’s a contemporary comparison rather than ‘Sholay’ that the author himself has used to describe the vividness he tries to maintain in the book) No, guys I haven’t lost sanity as yet and I am not writing this in a tangent, I am just reminded of Karan Johar making a kind of an appeal to audience to see his movie before the release by selling all proof points of his best made movie so far, from Rani to Shahrukh, from Abhishek to Zinta, from the exotic foreign locales to the hip hop dancing numbers and a veteran like Amitabh Bachchan in a silly - belly role. Needless to say, we all know the end results of how the movie fared at the box office. Rather here, it looked as if Mr. Chaudhuri had already received the Oscars (ok it will be a Pulitzer or a Booker prize in this case) and he kept thanking his friends, his wife, and his 9 month old child to have supported him and borne his absence while he was writing this book.

Then finally, the gyan begins…the gyan probably I too would have enjoyed sermonizing…things like ‘If you think you can, you are right – Just be passionate about what you think’.

Now you can’t really be all skeptical about a book- it cannot have everything bad or unworthy, there ought to be something decent enough for a read, what was the publisher doing all this while then? So to mention, you have few elements in CYCBTH which are not that bad after all, like mention of dimensions to success - the ‘ASK’ principle (believe me this is also not something I read here for the first time, it was shared in my MBA classes at IMT by a faculty). I would not disagree that it is Attitude, Skills and Knowledge and yes in almost always in the same order that makes or breaks a person. Incase you are interested to know how the subject is dealt; you may undergo the tumultuous pressure of reading this book J. The mention of names of successful people (Abraham Lincoln, Henry Ford, J.F Kennedy) and the most ordinary instances and examples taken from their lives to inspire the readers are almost deliberately overshadowed by the intermittent interference of the author of not keeping himself away from relating them with his own glorified life incidences. Pardon my yawning, but beyond a limit this self appraisal that grew monstrously to become an uncontrolled obsession was intolerable, he went up to the limit of boasting about his organizations’ recruitment outfit. I was wondering what the book or the author wanted to deliver and make its audiences understand at the end of it.

I wanted to read about theory I – management which I am made to believe are based on the learnings drawn out of Bhagwad Gita (Now Naren will say, what man read my nightingale pocket sized books rather – it will save you time), but I guess I am a bit biased against Mr. Chaudhuri now; it will take me some more time to muster and regain my level of interest to finish reading this book. (yes I will be unable to conclude this review as I could not reach the last page). Honestly, the content isn’t that bad, for a motivational spiel, this may be real handy for the team leaders at Blue Lotus. And for starters/ freshers – the young green lot, this is not a bad option at all. But what I sincerely doubt is the author’s unconditional objective of allowing the spotlight on the content rather than his own achievements and ambitions. Though he has been to some extent able to pull in some great examples and ideas, he has not been able to provide an undisturbed flow and structure.

With no offence meant to the author and to the readers who have read this book already and liked it, but I would not have bothered to pen down a ‘book review’ on a book which is not really a book but a self obsessed autobiography of a person, that too if not published would have made no difference to anyone anyways, less it came for free. J

Cheers!
AJS