When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see...
But I am not a little girl any more, I am a woman, a mother and like many first time mothers I know, I too am a freaked out one until my child grows. I wish life could have been so simple like the song, just leave to god and rest will be taken care of. (But then who said, God helps those who helps themselves)
Anyways, this one is on woes of a mother while she's practicing being a good mother. Right from birth to feeding, to weaning off, to introducing semi then solid food, to making her child walk, talk and then sprint... a mother's heart skips a beat every time a child accomplishes a development milestone. Each activity and newly acquired skill is an achievement, an occasion to be celebrated all the time thereon.
Then a very important milestone - enrolling the child for the very first time to a playschool. This, definitely is an event for many I know, and what emotions parents experience is not new to me. After a lot of research, ground work, checking references, browsing N number of websites, paying N number of visits to N number of schools, revisiting the same set of those few selected ones out of a lot of may be 3 dozens, finally parents arrive at a conclusion (unanimous) of sending their ward to one of the most prestigious, reputed, tested and boasts of laying a strong foundation, having best approach, right practices and decade old experience in bringing up children in the most conducive of environments.
Ed..sells like hotcakes
With the intent of admitting my child to such a prestigious and more than hugely advertised institute, I revisited the school in their very busy hours. I had visited the school almost a month back along with my husband for the first time to enquire about admissions. I was asked to fill up a pre - registration form and had been asked even exhaustive details (imagine - this is only during the time of an enquiry) like designations of both parents (working) along with monthly income. I did not strike me then...I had almost forgotten about it amidst series of things happening at my personal front, a cousin's marriage then a demise of a close relative, then....excetra excetra...but they did not... a very polite and humble business development executive had promised herself to convert the lead (us). Being in BD myself, her rigorous follow up calls (at times they were really pestering, sounding more than urgent..almost alarming) did not offend me, I had kept my calm and cool...but only till then...
Young saplings
My interest was primarily due to the fact that I was informed that the teacher: student ratio is 1: 15 (up to 20) and lot of emphasis is given on customizing methodology of imparting learning to the tiny toddlers. I was escorted for a school round by a Business development in charge of their Vivek Vihar branch with lot of style and warmth. The lady helped us see around the school's impressive infrastructure - huge auditorium for kids to practice public speaking, a well equipped computer room, a doll house, an activity room to help kids learn colors, textures, role plays to know about petrol stations, grocery store, a skating ring, an apt indoor swimming pool (empty though) etc. Then...came the classes, the wooden doors of the classrooms had glass panes to peep in and I saw many many children seated in a semi circle few ft away from a centrally positioned teacher calling attendance. I could not stop myself counting the faces ( I could see) and the heads from that small window...25..26..30..31...were there more? I will never know now...and believe me I don't want to.
In my previous visit I had almost made up my mind to admit my son in the school and was waiting for my hubby and myself to get time to do so, but this was not I was expecting. Till now, they had not asked to see my child, they had not shown any interest to even know whether I actually had any ward or whether it was framed by a set of duo journalists very fond of string operations. But the most disappointing one was yet to come. Last time we came, we were told that admission fee was somewhere around Rs. 11.3 K (initially it was Rs. 16.2 K but as a discount for registering the same day it was brought to around Rs. 14.k, and further to quickly seal the deal the last offer made to impulsively admit the child was Rs. 11.3K) and if we would have made payments the same day we would have saved some money. Of course, people do not carry pockets loaded with so much of cash, but like professionals, they too had offered for sending an executive at home to collect cheque / cash from our residence, who would also be carrying the admission form (when asked about the process).Now we had to pay close to Rs. 14 .5K.
I sat there still trying to convince myself whether I wanted this for my child, he has a delayed speech, gets easily distracted and will he be able to cope (not in a group but) in a crowd, while I heard my husband struggling to reach a consent with the BD in charge to settle at the fee quoted, she offered to make it convenient for us - to pay a token fee and pay the rest later, but it could not now be lowered. He haggled, we both are from corporates. should we not be entitled to any corporate discount, she asked her BD executive to fetch her the corporates listed with them...'sorry, your company is not listed with us, we can set up help desks in your organisation and if we get some 1000 admissions from your organisation, you and your colleagues who may seek admissions for their toddlers in any of our branches may be eligible for corporate discounts, but I may not be able to offer them to you today'. "Sure, I can help you by putting you to our HR, our HO in gurgaon does not have 1000 staff members, but yes including our factory workers, the number should come close to 1000", I heard my naive husband talk. Pat came the reply, this is only meant for people who can afford to send their kids to our schools, then only setting up of help desks is meaningful.
Here, I was still thinking...why not, if it has been working for so many kids, it should very well work out for MY son too...after all the setting looks almost perfect and we have no qualms about fee being slightly more expensive than in schools we had earlier visited.
I heard him say, in that case Ma'm let me come back to you, I am not carrying a cheque book, you may pay a token money of Rs. 2.5 K or so now and the rest within few days...we need to book a seat for your son's admission, hence we need to confirm.
Something had rushed into my system...up to my brain...I saw myself stood up suddenly and announcing " I need time to think". I politely told the charming BD executive, we will come back to you."
My husband was startled, while he was fumbling with his wallet keeping back the bundle of Rs. 500 notes he had taken few seconds earlier. His quizzical eyes trying to enquire “what’s wrong with you, you had been eating my brains in the last few days of hurrying before admissions close..." But I guess I did not give time to anyone in that room, including myself to event think, forget to act, I had already reached the door of the room by then to exit. I just looked at the BD in charge who had earlier been lecturing on the topic that how she can relate to a mother's worry and apprehension of sending a kid to a school for the first time, the anxiety in both parents and kids when he is stepping out to the world with faces he has never seen, people he has never met before...I could only say " Thank you Ma'm for your time!"
I had felt her stern eyes on me, it had certainly been disrespectful without a doubt, but somewhere I had to listen to that quite inner voice...
Needless to say, I did not enroll my son in a very prestigious school, he today goes to a small neighborhood school that provides more or less the same infrastructure (hopefully, the same learning too) a green environment, few lesser friends and few lesser glossy glam toys, but its more than satisfying to hear me say to myself " They had not entertained me in the school without my son when I had gone for enquiring about admissions, they had not pestered me to pay up at gunpoint, they did not come across as those who may have discussed my son's registration form in their branch's business review meetings...it did not look (at least) that my son was just a target for number crunching.
